As written by the Kenyan lady, Bettern Chero (pictured)
STOP GLORIFYING SINGLE MOTHERS
Before I get to the point of my article, let me state my disclaimer. “I am in no way attacking Single Mothers , myself am a daughter of a single father !!
Single moms, excluding widows, are generally losers and they have big possibility to raise criminals and sluts you see around.
If you’re a single mom these days you’re praised and heralded for your courage and strength in raising a child all by yourself. It’s brave for a woman to take on the responsibility of being able to deal with a bad man that left her and put her in an unfortunate situation.
But like most things, women, for the most part, we chose to put ourselves in this situation. Bad men don’t just magically appear in our lives as women . Bad men who leave women don’t just magically change and decide to leave the woman. And there aren’t only bad men to choose from. There are lots of good men out there too. But most single moms don’t want good men. Most single moms don’t know what a good man is.
Let’s get back to basics. Women totally we have the upper hand in choosing our partner. This is why men usually ask women out and not the other way around. This is why a man will have sex with just about any woman and while a woman will not have sex with any man. It’s supply and demand. It is much easier for a woman to pick up a man than for a man to pick up a woman. And that’s fine and natural.
You can’t have unplanned children if sex is planned. Every time you have sex you have the risk of getting pregnant as a woman. So there is no such thing as unplanned children. Of course there are exceptions like rape. The vast, vast, vast majority of single moms are not exceptions. They are choices that they made to have sex. So when you have a child as a woman you made the choice to either have the child or to have sex which has a possibility of creating a child. A child is a choice. Every woman knows her circle and she knows her danger days though during those days you feel to have sex ,stop !!
It’s not the man’s fault. You chose him. Again, women generally we choose men. Women have the final say on when and when not to have sex. Many men will do anything or say anything just to have sex. That’s where choice comes in. You need to sift through the basics . You need to put your big girl thinking cap on and not believe everything you hear. You need to look past the words and into the character of people. You have way more at risk than the man. You also have way more options than the man. You need to be wise about how you proceed.
Single moms always goes after alpha men who are attractive, muscular and good in bed and hope that they can keep the man by giving him more sex and following his every whim. They both use each other to their own advantage and have no desire to create something stable or long term. It is only a matter of time before the man moves onto the next woman and, likewise, it is only a matter of time before the woman moves onto the next man. The cycle repeats itself over and over again because these people do not know what they want. And in not knowing what they want they get what they don’t want. But the absence of choosing what you do want is the choice of what you don’t want. Why do some women choose good men and other women not? They all have the choice. But they don’t all make good choices. You can hate bettern chero yaani daughter of the soil from sacho but truth rems truth .
Single mothers shouldn’t be vilified, but they shouldn’t be glorified either. Let me just add to that: I do not think, in any way, shape, or form, that single moms are bad moms. To the contrary, judging by the single moms I know, they actually work harder to try to take care of their kids than most moms do in two parent families. Granted, that’s not because they’re better people; it’s because parenting is a two person job and they’re trying to fill both roles all by their lonesome. It’s extremely tough for them to do that, which I think most single moms would acknowledge.
Single mothers tend to struggle more financially and they do miss having a dad around to help with the kids, bring in more money, help soothe their frayed nerves, give second opinions, be a rock, and do all the things that men do to help make a happy home.
Of course, single dads have it tough, too, but as a society, we put single moms up on a pedestal and we don’t do the same for single dads. The courts always give the mom preference over the dad, most social media and people lionize single moms, but rarely single dads, and we generally treat moms like they’re the better parent by default. So even though single dads who take care of their kids are as important as single moms and care just as much for their children, they’re not looked at the same way as single moms. So, since single moms are much more common and are treated differently, they’re the ones we should focus on.
The problem we have in dealing with single moms in this country is because most of us know single mothers, know how hard they’re working, and wish them well, we do what we can to support them and build them up. That’s very understandable and it undoubtedly does some good. However, because we’re constantly talking about how wonderful single mothers are, we’re also making the option look a lot less scary than it should be to young girls — and that’s a very bad thing for them and for society.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how much a single mother loves her child or how diligent she tries to be, it’s unlikely that she’ll be able to do as good a job of raising her child as a mother and father could have done in her place. People hate to hear that, but it’s true. Incidentally, this isn’t me just talking off the top of my head. Statistics bear this out and show that many of the problems we have in our society, when you look a little deeper, are really caused by the number of out-of-wedlock births we have in this country, majority of suicides are individuals from single-parent households. 75 percent of drug abusers are from single mother parenting ,more than half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts come from single-parent households.
There are 2 main reasons as to why most single moms are single:
They picked a loser to begin with
They picked a good man and he left cause she scared him away
Of course I’m generalizing, but there is truth to this generalization. Women who are happily married are almost always more wise and mature than single moms. It’s not a luck thing. Women choose their men. And married women choose better. Married women choose men that are more responsible, dependable and committed to a serious, stable relationship.